exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
