i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
