It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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