Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
