Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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