found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
