If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
