Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
