Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
