SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
