Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
