forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
