Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
