She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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