hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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