Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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