Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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