One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
