It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
