sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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