Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
