Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fredricarules hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera

Fav 10 3226 817
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.

Fav 85 2442 6550
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other

Fav 24 6012 1970
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen

Fav 17 6011 1377
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

Fav 3 1588 1197
share tweet
(231): View more from Michigan

Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.

Fav 6 1340 1385
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.

Fav 3 1815 769
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

Let go out that Thursday night!

(912): View more from Georgia

Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.

Fav 0 15 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.

Fav 0 115 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT