After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
