Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
