Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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