my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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