So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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