You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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