can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
