went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
