She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
