Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
