My brain says no but my pants say off.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
