Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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