this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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