i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
