Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
