i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
