I think my vagina is haunted
i just had sex bonerless
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
