Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
