No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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