I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize