i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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