weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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