She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
soo... how was my night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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