My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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