Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
