yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
