he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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