This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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