So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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