My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
