so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
