Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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