you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
