3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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