Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize