Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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