Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
