Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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