My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
