true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
