didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
