we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
