he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize