I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
