a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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