is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
