I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
