I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
